Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Stupid people

I hate to be negative. But sometimes I get so annoyed at people's comments.

"WOW, you have your hands full"...um ok.
"3 boys huh?!?"...no I just dress the baby up as a boy, thanks!
"Gonna go for that girl, right"...yeah, let me get right on that one.

I found this today and thought it was funny. Makes me want to think of a good story to tell people when they make stupid comments.

Purina Dog Food

The next time someone asks you a dumb question wouldn’t you like to respond like this?…..

Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for Athena the wonder dog at Wal-Mart and was about to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I’m retired, with little to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again. Although I probably shouldn’t, because I’d ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.) Horrified , she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter’s butt and a car hit us both.
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I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard!

-Jaime

2 comments:

The Raines Family said...

That cracked me up...it's always good to have a nice laugh to start the day!!

Kevin & Laura said...

Jaime, Hey, I just found your blog and it's so cute! That story is great-- too funny!